Last month I quit my job. My legit reason for doing so, as most of you will know, is because we moved 100 miles across (and down a bit) the country. The official line is that once the new school term starts, Amelia gets back into nursery, and we get Christmas out of the way I will start looking for work. I have no concerns that I’ll get a job, but in the meantime I’m hoping I can make enough of a go with the blog that I won’t have to.
As things stand right now, I’m a SAWAHM (Stay And Work At Home Mum). That’s right, you can definitely do both, and while I have more freedom (’cause, y’know, my own schedule and all that) it can be just as much a juggling act as when I was working out of the home sometimes.
I’m At Home, He’s At Work…
The new set up is taking everyone just a little while to get used to, not least because Mr C is also working from home! His job, however, is actual employment with a company so he has to start and finish at a certain time, and he is entitled to a lunch break (albeit one that he never actually takes in full).
Essentially, I’m at home and he’s at work. That’s fine, I’m cool with that. I’m not making what you’d call a wage yet, so I’ll accept that. But somehow I still feel less equal. I remember when we were both officially employed, and we shared all the chores equally. I remember when neither of us got to eat until nearly 9pm on work days. I remember when we agreed that one of us would lie in on Saturday and the other on Sunday so we both got a rest. I remember when everything was equal because, essentially, we were both equally knackered. It was shit.
3 years ago I was earning good money in a job I (mostly) enjoyed and was actually good at. I was respected by my staff, colleagues, and superiors and was often asked for advice and to oversee projects. I’m not going to lie, that felt really good! But (and there’s always a ‘but’ isn’t there?!) the hours were long and unsociable, and I was taking my work home more and more. Frankly, I couldn’t be as successful as I was before I had kids, because I couldn’t devote the time to my job that I used to.
In 2015 I decided to make a huge career move. I gave up my career and started training as an Early Years Teacher while working part time in a private nursery. My salary quartered, and my pride took a bit of a knock. At home, though, things were so much better. No more working weekends, and no more missing out on invaluable time with the kids.
Something For Me
Fast forward to now and I’ve decided to stay out of work completely. Moving house took the decision out of my hands, at least in the short term. I couldn’t bring my job with me like Mr C could, and in all honesty I’m enjoying the slower pace of life.
But if I thought my pride took a knock when I changed career the first time, it’s got nothing on how I feel now. Being at home with the kids is far from a walk in the park, but I definitely do more park walking now than when I was working! There’s no denying that being at home is simpler than working, but I still feel like I need something for me. That’s where the blog comes in. It gives me a creative outlet and some kind of purpose to the days. It makes me feel like I’m achieving something, and the few quid I make is a nice boost too.
We’re Equal… Aren’t We?
I haven’t fully come to terms with my new role in the family yet. I still have days when I feel like I’m lazy, like I should be doing more. Days when I feel crappy for not bringing in any money, when I miss the feeling of providing.
I don’t always feel like I’m an equal, and I certainly don’t feel like a modern woman a lot of the time. But I do feel like, right now, I’ve made the right choice for all of us. Being at home is important for the kids, and it works for us as a family. We’re less stressed, the kids see more of both of us, and we eat a hot meal together at 5 every day rather than shovelling something in at 9 in front of the TV.