Not all fathers are dads, and not all dads are fathers. Dads come in all shapes and sizes, and exist in various forms. Some dads are the biological fathers of their children, and some are not. I feel very lucky knowing that my dad chose to raise me when my father chose not to.
I have thought for a very long time about my relationship with my father, years in fact. I have always worried about referring to him on the blog for fear of upsetting other family members, but this post isn’t really about him. In a way I suppose it’s about what he is not (at least to me).
Perfection Not Required
My dad, and many other dads like him, chose to be a part of my life. He is not my biological father, but he is definitely my dad. He’s not perfect, but he’s always there. He’s grumpy, cantankerous, and a fount of useless knowledge, but he’s everything a dad should be. My dad was there when I tripped and hurt myself. He was there when my mum was sick. He went to the shops to buy me sanitary towels when I started my period. He was there the first time I tripped all the fuses in my flat and didn’t know where the fuse box was. He was there when I needed help moving house last month. My dad hasn’t always been in my life, but he’s always there when I need him.
It Takes Nothing & Everything
It doesn’t take a lot to be a dad, but in a way it takes much more than that. It takes everything a man has. Any parent will tell you that they love their kids more than words than could ever express. A love like that takes you to a place where you would give everything you have to see that person happy. Being a dad isn’t (always) about money or material things. Being a dad requires only love and time.
A dad will cancel his plans to see his children if they need him. He will be at the other end of a phone, and when he has nothing else to offer he will be there with a hug. It doesn’t matter how old his children get, he will always be their dad, and he will always give them everything he has if and when they need it. Sometimes that might be money, but more often than not it will simply be his love and time.
We’ve all heard the saying;
“Any man can become a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad”
But I like this one more;
Here’s To You!
So here’s to all the fathers and all the dads who are doing an amazing job at rocking being a parent! Whether you became a dad after you became a father, or had the very special fortune to place yourself in your children’s lives and become their dad, I salute you all!
There are many reasons and examples of why a father might not always be a dad, and not all those reasons are bad ones. If you’re a dad who has stepped in where a father was not able to, chose not to, or isn’t with us anymore, know that you are special.