You Have One Job: Don’t Raise A Dickhead

You’ll have to excuse me today. I’ve just finished watching all 4 episodes of Little Boy Blue (seriously, if you haven’t seen it, you HAVE to) and I’m a bit emotional!


As the final recorded episode finished, our Sky box automatically tuned into the last channel we were watching (Comedy Central, obvs) and the brilliantly funny Chris Ramsey was talking about life as a fairly new parent. He started talking about the whole world of pressure and responsibility on a new parent’s shoulders, and I sort of zoned out after he uttered these words.

“When you bring a life into this world… you have one job above everything else… Do not raise a dickhead”

I zoned out at this point because I genuinely started to consider just how well we are doing with this one.

I’d like to think that our parenting skills have helped to instil a number of un-dickhead qualities in Amelia so far, but I can equally say that she has the capacity for full dickhead mode whenever that switch flips.

Perfect Mum Tantrum


It felt like it took forever to crack the manners thing, and at points it just felt like we were repeating “please” and “what do you say?” over and over and over again, until one day something seemed to finally click and she just got it.

So yeah, her manners are great, and I regularly get compliments about Amelia’s ‘beautiful manners’ from staff at nursery, friends and family, and random people we happen to talk to. But then there are the times when it all goes a bit awry.

Seriously, my threenager has perfected sarcasm (I wonder where she gets that from……..), so when she forgets her manners and I look at her expectantly, there are genuinely times when I get a roll of the eyes and a totally dickhead-ish and insincere “puh-leeease”. Then there’s the times like yesterday when she actually yelled at me from the living room;

“Get me a snack!”

Yeah, beautiful manners.

One Job Don't Raise A Dickhead


I’d like to think that I model empathy as much as I can around the kids, and I definitely try to make sure that I’m putting myself in their shoes sometimes.

For the most part, Amelia is fabulously empathetic. She shows true concern for the feelings of her friends, and once took me into a shop to buy a meal deal for a homeless man when I couldn’t tell her where he was going to have dinner (I didn’t want to lie and tell her ‘at home’ and she found that quite sad)

And yet, just a few days ago (she was being a bit of a dickhead) I explained that her actions had not been kind, and that actually her actions had made mummy feel a bit sad. She sort of looked around the room, and then responded “Ok. But I’m not doing that now. Can I have a cup of milk please?” Feeling at a bit of a loss, I asked her if she cared that mummy was sad, and she simply responded “No.”

Well that’s that then.

One Job Don't Raise A Dickhead
Faith restored: that time she ignored Will’s snatching and instead offered a piece of her chocolate brownie.

Pennies Make Pounds

So has my 3-year-old perfected the art of not being a dickhead, or has she actually perfected the art of saving? When I say saving, of course what I mean is saving up all of the shit for us at home!

I know that she is definitely capable of displaying excellent manners, and of caring for others. She happily tidies away toys at nursery, and treats things with respect. She asks nicely for things, and shares with others. Sometimes, she will even let me have a Malteser or two (parenting win of the day today).

So what the hell are all those other times about?! Are they just momentary relapses? Are they a test? Does she see me as more of a pushover than, say, the staff at nursery?

Honestly I don’t know, but I suppose all any of us can do is celebrate the wins, and tackle the rest one by one. There’ll be an end to this, right? Right??


57 thoughts on “You Have One Job: Don’t Raise A Dickhead

  1. Hehe it sounds like she’s definitely on the right track. We can’t be perfect aaaaall the time, can we 🙂 And I think they definitely save their most trying behaviour for hometime! #blogcrush

    1. Unless you’re me, I’m perfect 100% of the time (see, I’m hilarious too!!) haha! Thank you, and I totally agree!xx

  2. I think there’s a difference between annoying child and a dickhead. As long as values are kept you are gonna give them the best start and outlook 😉 #RVHT

    1. Completely agree. And then I become the dickhead looking at them going “what the actual fuck, do we seriously have to learn this AGAIN?!?!” Hahaha!!x

  3. What a fantastic post. And yes, we have all at some point in time. looked at our littles behaviors and thought, Dickhead. It’s a truth we must all face. Getting it out in the open is cathartic, so thank you! #BlogCrush xoxo

  4. Aha, yes in my head I am often screaming “why are you such a little dickhead” to one of my three, or maybe all three at the same time, and they don’t get any less dickhead-ish as they get older, I’m afraid. But they’re also amazing as we all know! #stayclassymama

  5. Brilliant post! Manners cost nohing is all i remember my nan saying to me and do you know what? Its all i keep saying to my son. I dont want to raise a dickhead! #BlogCrush

  6. My kids can be real dickheads too and usually at the wrong moment – like in front of my new box but then they do something that makes me so proud. I guess we all make mistakes and it seems to me that you are doing a great job. Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉

  7. Oh these little ones! I think they’re all a balance, mind you, I think that we can all have our own dickhead moments when we have a strop, as long as the good outweighs the bad I think we’re doing ok! Thanks for linking up with the #bigpinklink this week.

  8. Love this post! It sounds like you are doing a fantastic job. And don’t worry, all 3 year olds are dickheads sometimes. But if she has good manners most of the time or shows empathy EVER, chances are she’ll grow up to be delightful. #dreamteam

  9. haha … my 3(nearly 4) year old has perfected the art of rolling her eyes and sighing in complete exasperation at me. I pray (for her sake) that she doesn’t do it to other people outside our home. Great post. I love the title!

    1. Haha can you imagine?! I’ve often said if an adult behaved/spoke to me the way Amelia does sometimes I don’t think I’d text very *ahem* favourably!! Xx

  10. All of our kids will be fine. As my mum says they are just learning about boundaries and frustration and anger and all of these new and exciting emotions.

    Unfortunately, I feel like I am learning about all of these new and exciting emotions at the same time. I am not sure how much I am enjoying it.

    Pen x #marvmondays

    1. Oh wow, yes! I too feel like I’m having to learn/relearn all of the emotion management techniques that I want my children to learn. Just another big way that parenting is a massive learning curve, eh?!xx

  11. Ha, toddlers are secretly criminal masterminds, clearly – to the rest of the world they seem soooo innocent, but to their parents they show their true face 😉


  12. So true! We really do have one job – and if we crack it, the world will be a much better place. Actually two jobs … as we need not be dickheads too!

    1. YES to that!! Not being a dickhead oneself is equally is vital haha!! (Although I’m sure I have my moments!!) xx

  13. Ha ha this is awesome I love this title – yes I just hope that I am not raising dickheads too lol 🙂 My mum always told me if I can instill good values in my children then they may occassionally go ‘Off piste’ but they will find their way back because of the strong foundations laid down in their early years. Sounds like you are going really well in laying down yours xx Nicky #bigpinklink

    1. Aw thank you! I couldn’t agree more, those foundations are so important. Your mum sounds like a very wise lady!x

  14. I used to work with a number of young people with behavioural problems and empathy was the way to reach them. She has empathy, so you’re okay. Some of the young people had lost empathy and that was hard work. This post did make me laugh. #MarvMondays

    1. I totally agree with you there. Empathy is such an important emotion, and feeds into almost everything. I think it’s so important to show our children empathy so that they can learn from us. Definitely one to think more about, I think!xx

  15. Oh I totally get this! My son is an absolute delight, with impeccable manners. Apart from when it all slips and he’s a complete nightmare – a rude, selfish, aggressive dictator! Like you’ve found, he saves all those moments for when he’s with me, so I feel lovely and special. Nursery think he’s just an angel! #bigpinklink

  16. Great post, sounds like you’re doing a fab job! And my friend and I have been using the #babydickheadness hashtag in our texts to each other about our two fairly regularly lol…. #BigPinkLink

    1. Never a truer word..! They are pretty perfect, including when they’re perfecting the art of being dickheads haha!! x

  17. I like to think we aren’t raising dick-heads, yes that it is one of my favourite words, but my terrible twos toddler definitely has her moments. What am I saying? They both do!! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza, I love your stuff!! xx

    1. Hahaha, even the baby of the family has his moments hahaha! Aww thanks hun, that means a lot! Sometimes I do wonder if it’s just me enjoying writing it all haha!!xx

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