It’s no secret that we are moving soon (less than 2 weeks to go now), and I have talked a lot about the ups and downs of organising a huge move. At the end of July we will be moving as a family to a new home just over 100 miles from where we live now. Lots of things are inevitably going to change for us as a family, nearly all of them for the better. Not only are we moving to a more affordable part of the country (bye bye beloved London taaaahn), we are going to have more space than we’ve ever had, more access to green space, and more time to spend together.
One thing I haven’t talked much about, though, is the inevitable impact the move is going to have on the kids. I’ll be honest, when I say the kids I’m not really referring to Wills. At just shy of 1 year old (also in 2 weeks!!), I genuinely believe the move will very little impact on him, other than to give him the garden he so very much needs and requires! Amelia on the other hand is already struggling with one very big aspect of the move. Her friends. Or her friend, I should say.
It’s Not A Popularity Contest!
She is not short of mates at nursery, and in fact seems to have a little posse all of her own who follow her lead in almost everything! They all light up when she arrives at nursery, and all gather to wave goodbye at the end of the day. The kids in her group at nursery are genuinely a lovely bunch, and I couldn’t have wished for better ‘class’ mates for her. But there is one child in particular with whom she has a very special bond.
Every day, sometimes several times a day, for the last few weeks Amelia has asked me if Alex (I’ve changed his name, obvs) can come to our new house. Trying to explain to a 3-year-old that 100 miles is a bit of a trek for a play date has been difficult to say the least. Alex’s parents are actually a very cool pair, but even they, I believe, would draw the line there!
Mum Guilt To The Max!
I can’t help but feel immensely guilty at the thought of splitting the pair up, like, forever… Their relationship is not like anything I’ve ever seen between kids so young. They have been fairly good mates for the nearly 2 years they have been at nursery together, but the bond took a drastic turn a few months ago when Amelia came home and announced
“Alex is my booooooyfriend!”
It’s been a long standing joke in our house; Amelia and Mr C have daily faux arguments over the pairing. Amelia will declare that Alex is her boyfriend, Mr C will tell her he’s definitely not and she can’t have a boyfriend until she’s 35, Amelia will shout “yes he is!” and this will go back and forth for a minute or two
until one of them gives in I tell them both to stop shouting. Much pouting ensues.
After Alex’s 3rd birthday party, Amelia was given a few pictures from the party of her and Alex hugging and generally being cute. These pictures are firmly ensconced by her bedside. Almost daily I am regaled with stories from the nursery staff of them having to ask the pair not to cuddle at the lunch table, or of them snuggled in the book corner together reading stories. If Amelia scrapes her knee or has a cold, she will declare that it’s ok, because “I will have a cuddle with Alex and that will make it better.”
Losing Her Best Friend…
The rational part of me knows that she is 3 and she will inevitably forget all about lovely Alex. There will, I have no doubt, be several friends and boyfriends over the years who eventually get forgotten about too. But the irrational part of me is devastated at the thought of splitting them up. It’s made harder by the fact that I also have a bit of a soft spot for Alex, and I think his parents are great. What’s more is Alex has a younger brother in the same class as Wills, and staff have been telling me over the last 2 or 3 weeks that the two boys also seem to be seeking each other out for play now!
I feel like leaving Alex behind really personifies the end of an era feeling that I’m experiencing now that the move date is close. There are a lot of ‘firsts’ that we have experienced with both kids here, and most of them are memories that can be taken with us. They are things that have passed, things that once happened. But the friendship between Amelia and Alex is something that is still happening, still going strong, and I feel as though I am interrupting that.
Who knows, maybe in 15 years’ time the 2 kids will somehow meet again and rekindle their love?! Ok, ok, that’s a touch excessive, I know! But these are the thoughts running through my mum guilt ridden mind!
I’m definitely up for thoughts and experiences to make me feel better on this one! Please!