Losing A Best Friend The Kids Are Moving Too

Losing A Best Friend: The Kids Are Moving Too!

It’s no secret that we are moving soon (less than 2 weeks to go now), and I have talked a lot about the ups and downs of organising a huge move. At the end of July we will be moving as a family to a new home just over 100 miles from where we live now. Lots of things are inevitably going to change for us as a family, nearly all of them for the better. Not only are we moving to a more affordable part of the country (bye bye beloved London taaaahn), we are going to have more space than we’ve ever had, more access to green space, and more time to spend together.

One thing I haven’t talked much about, though, is the inevitable impact the move is going to have on the kids. I’ll be honest, when I say the kids I’m not really referring to Wills. At just shy of 1 year old (also in 2 weeks!!), I genuinely believe the move will very little impact on him, other than to give him the garden he so very much needs and requires! Amelia on the other hand is already struggling with one very big aspect of the move. Her friends. Or her friend, I should say.

It’s Not A Popularity Contest!

She is not short of mates at nursery, and in fact seems to have a little posse all of her own who follow her lead in almost everything! They all light up when she arrives at nursery, and all gather to wave goodbye at the end of the day. The kids in her group at nursery are genuinely a lovely bunch, and I couldn’t have wished for better ‘class’ mates for her. But there is one child in particular with whom she has a very special bond.

Every day, sometimes several times a day, for the last few weeks Amelia has asked me if Alex (I’ve changed his name, obvs) can come to our new house. Trying to explain to a 3-year-old that 100 miles is a bit of a trek for a play date has been difficult to say the least. Alex’s parents are actually a very cool pair, but even they, I believe, would draw the line there!

Mum Guilt To The Max!

I can’t help but feel immensely guilty at the thought of splitting the pair up, like, forever… Their relationship is not like anything I’ve ever seen between kids so young. They have been fairly good mates for the nearly 2 years they have been at nursery together, but the bond took a drastic turn a few months ago when Amelia came home and announced

“Alex is my booooooyfriend!”

It’s been a long standing joke in our house; Amelia and Mr C have daily faux arguments over the pairing. Amelia will declare that Alex is her boyfriend, Mr C will tell her he’s definitely not and she can’t have a boyfriend until she’s 35, Amelia will shout “yes he is!” and this will go back and forth for a minute or two until one of them gives in I tell them both to stop shouting. Much pouting ensues.

After Alex’s 3rd birthday party, Amelia was given a few pictures from the party of her and Alex hugging and generally being cute. These pictures are firmly ensconced by her bedside. Almost daily I am regaled with stories from the nursery staff of them having to ask the pair not to cuddle at the lunch table, or of them snuggled in the book corner together reading stories. If Amelia scrapes her knee or has a cold, she will declare that it’s ok, because “I will have a cuddle with Alex and that will make it better.”

Losing Her Best Friend…

The rational part of me knows that she is 3 and she will inevitably forget all about lovely Alex. There will, I have no doubt, be several friends and boyfriends over the years who eventually get forgotten about too. But the irrational part of me is devastated at the thought of splitting them up. It’s made harder by the fact that I also have a bit of a soft spot for Alex, and I think his parents are great. What’s more is Alex has a younger brother in the same class as Wills, and staff have been telling me over the last 2 or 3 weeks that the two boys also seem to be seeking each other out for play now!

I feel like leaving Alex behind really personifies the end of an era feeling that I’m experiencing now that the move date is close. There are a lot of ‘firsts’ that we have experienced with both kids here, and most of them are memories that can be taken with us. They are things that have passed, things that once happened. But the friendship between Amelia and Alex is something that is still happening, still going strong, and I feel as though I am interrupting that.

Who knows, maybe in 15 years’ time the 2 kids will somehow meet again and rekindle their love?! Ok, ok, that’s a touch excessive, I know! But these are the thoughts running through my mum guilt ridden mind!

I’m definitely up for thoughts and experiences to make me feel better on this one! Please!


  • five little doves

    Ahh it is tough but you have to remember that you are doing the right thing for your family and there will be more friends out there. My son moved primary school three times and had a new best friend each time, as a result he has more friends than he knows what to do with, and is very sociable as a result! #fortheloveofblog

    • MummyMamaMum

      I love that – funnily enough I had a conversation with my brother the other day about this and he told me to stop being stupid. The kids will likely end up being very adept at meeting new people/making new friends, so if anything it’s a good thing!!xx

  • adrian

    This rings so true with me, not because we are moving but because Billy’s ‘girlfriend’ is moving away to the north and we and her parents are more devastated about this than he is i think! They went to the same childminder from 1 to 3 and even now he has moved on to nursery he still talks about her loads. The photos of them together are so cute and we always joked they’d get married! Of course in six months he’ll have forgotten all about her. 🙁

    • MummyMamaMum

      Aww, it’s quite sad isn’t it?! But I totally agree that they will definitely move on, and actually it’ll probably be us struggling more with it in the long term!xx

  • Alana - Burnished Chaos

    It’s so hard. We recently considered a move just 15 miles away and our oldest was devastate. He would still be an,e to see his friends and they could come for sleepovers but he would be in a different school. In the end it didn’t come about and it looks like we’ll be staying out for the foreseeable so he’s happy again. We moved from Birmingham to the north east when I was six and again 18 months later about 10 miles further out into the countryside. I remember the first days at a new school and feeling nervous but I soon settled in and I honestly can’t remember any upset and am grateful we moved as we definitely had a better life than we would have done had we stayed put. Try not to be too hard on yourself, it’s for the best and she’ll soon have another boyfriend to fight with her Dad about x

    • MummyMamaMum

      It’s a tough decision to make isn’t it?! But you’re absolutely right, there will be loads of new friends and boyfriend me ready for the picking!xx

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