We all know that a mother’s work is never done; we’re living it, right?! But the thing is, it’s a literal phrase. Never actually does mean never. As our children get older, their needs just become different, more complex somehow. Never was this more apparent to me than this weekend when my own mother came to visit.
It’s no secret that we moved a really long way in July, and there’s now a good 100 miles between me and my parents. We had a rocky start, me and my mum, and somehow that will always have an effect on me, even though I will swear blindly that it doesn’t. My childhood was not all roses and kiss-chase but then whose really was? I have not bitterness about my past, and quite frankly I probably wouldn’t change a thing about it; after all I am who I am because of where I’ve been.
This weekend, though, reminded me that there will always be some lasting relics pushed right to the back of my mind. Knowing that my mum isn’t just around the corner anymore has been harder than I expected. I mean, it’s not like we’ve never been separated before, so I didn’t think this would be any different. But preparing for her arrival on Saturday morning took me right back there and I was surprised at what I found.
I suppose most of us will always have a desire to please and impress our parents, and I’m no exception to the rule. When she text to say they’d been caught in traffic on the motorway my heart sank. I’d put a huge amount of extra effort into breakfast, and knew that there was no way they’d arrive in time to appreciate it. I also knew that the late arrival meant we were losing a precious hour. Saying goodbye to Nana has been extraordinarily tough for Amelia, and I wanted her to have as much time with Nana as possible, as well as myself.
Saying goodbye so soon, and knowing that we probably won’t see them again until close to Christmas was hard. It was hard for Amelia, and it was hard for me. I wasn’t done chatting, catching up, spending time together. But here’ the thing; I’m about as far from sentimental and emotional as it gets, so if I feel like this how do other people feel when they’re distanced like this?
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WEAR YOR HEART ON YOUR 🤚 . Nana and Grandad came to visit for the day today. Since we moved, Amelia has had to get used to seeing all her faves a little bit less. She asks regularly about Nana, Grandad, GG, Claire, Grandma & Grandad Gordon, and it’s tough for her saying goodbye knowing they’re not just around the corner when they leave. . So today, when we said goodbye to Nana, Amelia and nana got matching heart buttons in the palms of their hands. Whenever Amelia misses her Nana, she can press her button and know that Nana knows. . This kid, wonderful child that she is said to me just before she fell asleep “all my feels for Nana are in there, in my heart on my hand”. . The she pressed her heart button and cuddled herself and told me that Nana was cuddling her back ❤️😍😥👧🏼👵🏻💞
This weekend not only made me realise that I need my mum more than I thought I did, it made me realise that I’m going to be needed for much longer than I thought I would be. It made me acutely aware that, before it’s even come up (I’m hoping I’ve got another 20 years at least!) I know that when they call my answer will be yes. Would I like to come and stay for the weekend? Yes. Can I take a break from work to be with them for a while? Yes. Will I take lunch early to answer their “emergency” call about an arsehole boyfriend or girlfriend. Of course I will.
The reality in this modern world is that when my kids fly the nest, be it to university or across the world for love, I will probably still have commitments of my own like work. Because, y’know, money coupled with being a workaholic! But no job, prior commitment, or 100 mile drive will ever come before my kids. When my Grandad died my mum wanted to fly home from her holiday early. That’s the mum I want to be, and I don’t want my mother’s work to ever be done.