I wrote a few weeks ago about creating date nights at home for those of us stuck at home with the kids most evenings. It’s so easy to get caught up in the day to day and forget to just be in love. So today I’m handing over to Katya from Mumsy & Bub who has some brilliant tips on doing just that – remembering to be in love!Over to Katya…
What is love? For a dating couple, it could mean finding that special someone who shares the same interest as yours, someone you want to spend your time with, the person you’d like to get to know more so as to build a stronger and deeper relationship with. For married couples – whether it’s a happy marriage or those who maybe are on the rocky side of the road, love is a constant decision to keep your commitment, that in spite and despite the changes, for better or for worse, the both of you will work together – as one.
Love is endearing and has been talked about by nobles and ordinary men alike, in movies, in music, in books, in different ways and forms. However, in reality, there’s more to love than just the emotions. Those who boarded their ship and took sail are the ones who truly understand what, or rather how it is to love.
On the other hand, there are also those individuals who aren’t inclined to relationships, or maybe hasn’t found their special someone yet, but can we really say they are not in love?
Again, love takes many shapes and forms and can be testified in countless ways. Nonetheless, however you choose to love, the goal is to show and demonstrate that you do.
It’s a wonderful thing to say “I love you”, but not everyone can express love easily through words. There are those individuals who are “action oriented” and express their love through gestures – big and small. However, it is important to note that, indeed, there are simple gestures you can do to show your love for that special person in your life without actually saying “I love you.”
You may have come across a lot of relationship tips and one thing that’s worth noting is paying attention. You know that feeling when your loved one knew what you like not because you told them so, but because they paid attention? Wonderful isn’t it? Uninterrupted, undivided attention is a great way to show your love. Listen as they speak and take into account what they say. That way you show them that they are valued.
A kind and thoughtful gesture like opening the door, a text message asking “Have you eaten your lunch, yet?”, or sending flowers for no reason is another way to show your beloved your care. Oh, and imagine doing the laundry and folding it without being asked by your spouse? It doesn’t have to happen every single day, but the thought sure goes a long way.
Go out of your way
If you do something you know you’d rather not do because that very thing makes the person you love happy, well, that is love. Watch together your partner’s favourite movie even if you’ve seen it for the nth time or cook his/her favourite meal after a long and tiring day is a simple yet potent reminder that you care.
Another important marital advice is to always compromise. Maybe your partner is a better cook while you‘re an organisation junkie so allow each other to take charge of the things you’re good at and trust each one’s judgments. Or perhaps you’d like the lights off at nights while your significant other prefers dim; an eye mask can solve it. Meet halfway. Don’t allow little, unnecessary squabbles get in the way.
Allow some space
Everyone deserves a “Me time” so if your partner is out with her girlfriends or he’s watching his favourite sport’s finale, give space. Recognize that everyone needs alone time every now and then and don’t begrudge it. Take it as much needed time to recharge oneself, something essential for a healthy and strong relationship.
Remember all the butterflies in your stomach or the looks you gave your partner on your first date? Go back to the start – show your interest and flirt a little. It is healthy, like a fuel that adds sparks to the fire, no matter how long you are in your relationship already. Tell him he looks sexy in that plain white t-shirt or that she looks beautiful while working on the garden. Leave random love notes and don’t forget to add those heart and wink emojis. You may have a long list of tips for happy married life, but sometimes, all you need is to be cheesy.
Say “Thank you”
Nothing beats the feeling of being appreciated – whether it’s a huge or small, extravagant or simple thing. It is too easy to get caught up in life provided the very hectic schedule we are all in that we forget to tell our loved ones we appreciate them. Always say thank you. Respond when your loved ones do something nice or reach out for you. Never make them feel like they’re taken for granted.
Make your relationship a priority
Anyone can say I love you. You can shower them with gifts, but the demands of life and other responsibilities like work and personal hobbies can sometimes get in the way. You’re busy, your partner is busy; and before you know it, you’re already doing things separately and are already heading towards two different directions. Make an effort and take the time to show them you love them and that your relationship is what’s more important. Send a love note in the middle of a busy day saying “I’m thinking of you, dinner later.” Or “Dropping by for a quick lunch, what do you want to eat?” Little things make a big difference if you want to keep a lasting relationship.
Whether it’s the time of the year when how-to-surprise-a-loved-one tops the search engine’s queries like date night trips, gift ideas, happy marriage suggestions, random acts of kindness are always a great way to show your loved ones how much they mean to you.