I joined Slimming World in August 2015, weighing nearly 14.5 stone. It wasn’t the biggest I have ever been, but it was the lowest I have ever felt about my weight. After a really shitty year I had piled on weight, living on takeaways and junk food and barely fitting into any of my clothes. What did fit made me feel frumpy and fat, and I had zero self-confidence.
I need a f***ing break.
I am writing this knowing that Mr C is taking both kids to GG’s (Great Grandma in case you were wondering!) tomorrow for the day. I love going there, GG and Auntie Claire are fantastic and I always really enjoy our visits (especially dinner!) but when I was unwell during the week Mr C suggested that I might want to stay home. As much as I am gutted to be missing a visit and I am actually feeling tons better, I just know that I need the day to myself.
My heart was broken this weekend as the result of a tragic loss. My mood took a downward turn and I felt almost empty. I had a little cry, I had moments of anger, I desperately longed for the feeling to go away, for just one more moment with that which was gone. I hugged my kids to make me feel better, soaking up all of their love and allowing it to heal me.
January can be a really tough month, and as the end of the month (pay-daaaaaaaaay!) approaches I have been thinking a lot about happiness. It’s so easy to get bogged down with the shit parts of life, especially at this time of year. The high of Christmas has dissipated, the funds available in my bank have equally dissipated, the house is bare of all the sparkle that came with December (seriously, my face when the Christmas tree arrived!) and life is back to normal, monotonous days filled with washing, de-cluttering post Christmas, still trying to find homes for all the new toys that don’t involve making my house look like a pre-school on hallucinogenic drugs.