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I don’t think I’m too strict with my kids, but by modern standards many of the things I feel really strongly about are outdated. Some people would argue that I expect too much from my kids, or that I’m too tough with them too soon. I don’t expect miracles (kids are kids after all!) but I do expect more than most other parents I know. I would argue, though, that I expect it because I know that they are capable of it and because I know that I have given them the tools in order to be capable of it.

There are times, I’ll admit, when the things I’m strict about make my life harder. A prime example of this is the TV. I like having background noise during the day, and I always used to have the TV on. Naturally, this developed into having CBeebies on all day. While Wills is not interested in the TV and never pays it much attention, Amelia is a total box addict. She could easily sit in front of the box from the minute she wakes until bedtime, and the worst thing for me is that she’s so entranced by it that it takes for me to put my face right in hers and say her name 3 times before she hears me.

Back to basics. For that reason, we don't have the TV on during the day at all. Instead we have the radio on. I noticed a massive positive difference as soon as I stopped turning it on in the morning. On Monday I genuinely forgot Amelia was in the house for the briefest time; my three-year-old spent just over an hour-and-a-half playing in her bedroom quietly. When I listened in, I could hear she was playing with her dolls house creating elaborate stories for each of the figures, giving them voices and characteristics. To me, that's priceless.

For that reason, we don’t have the TV on during the day at all. Instead we have the radio on. I noticed a massive positive difference as soon as I stopped turning it on in the morning. On Monday I genuinely forgot Amelia was in the house for the briefest time; my three-year-old spent just over an hour-and-a-half playing in her bedroom quietly. When I listened in, I could hear she was playing with her dolls house creating elaborate stories for each of the figures, giving them voices and characteristics. To me, that’s priceless.

There are a thousand parenting theories out there. Everyone has their preferences, opinions and likes and dislikes when it comes to parenting, and that’s great. But when it comes to modern parenting theories and styles, I think there’s a huge potential for confusion. Yes, it’s great to give kids the responsibility of making decisions sometimes, but do they get to decide that sitting at the dinner table is beneath them? Nope. Sure, no one wants to yell 24/7 and there’s huge benefits to not yelling at our kids. But does that mean thy shouldn’t ever be told off? No way!

Back to basics. There are a thousand parenting theories out there. Everyone has their preferences, opinions and likes and dislikes when it comes to parenting, and that's great. But when it comes to modern parenting theories and styles, I think there's a huge potential for confusion. Yes, it's great to give kids the responsibility of making decisions sometimes, but do they get to decide that sitting at the dinner table is beneath them? Nope. Sure, no one wants to yell 24/7 and there's huge benefits to not yelling at our kids. But does that mean thy shouldn't ever be told off? No way!

I think most of us worry about our parenting in some form or another, and wonder if we’re doing the right things. It’s natural to worry about how we’re perceived by other parents. On top of that, it’s really easy to be swayed by the way other people do things. Should we be doing it like that, would that work better, am I a bad mum for not following x, y, or z? Ultimately, we all do things the way we think is right, and do what works for us.

I have a set of things that I just won’t budge on, and for us it seems to work. Those things help me to retain some of my sanity, and hopefully in the long run will help to create fairly well-rounded kids. I’m all about teaching independence, good manners, a can-do attitude, helpfulness and responsibility, table manners. Ultimately, I want my kids to know that nothing in life is free and that hard work pays off. I don’t want them to ever think that life will be handed to them on a plate because that’s just the case. I also don’t think it’s ever really too soon to start teaching those lessons.

Back to basics. I have a set of things that I just won't budge on, and for us it seems to work. Those things help me to retain some of my sanity, and hopefully in the long run will help to create fairly well-rounded kids. I'm all about teaching independence, good manners, a can-do attitude, helpfulness and responsibility, table manners. Ultimately, I want my kids to know that nothing in life is free and that hard work pays off. I don't want them to ever think that life will be handed to them on a plate because that's just the case. I also don't think it's ever really too soon to start teaching those lessons.

At 3 and a half Amelia has little chores and I like her to take pride in them. She sets the table for dinner, and is now helping to tidy her room at the end of the day. We’ve been working on mealtimes with Wills too – using cutlery and saying “ta” when he wants something (as opposed to his go-to yelling and pointing!) Wills almost has ahead start on his sister I think, because he has her to copy. It’s a fun game copying her when she covers her mouth to cough, but my hope is that by doing things like that with him at this young age, they will become habits that he doesn’t even think about when he’s older.

It’s easy to get caught up with modern parenting ideals, theories, and all the rest of it. For me, though, there are some old school basics which just shouldn’t be forgotten about. How about you? Do you totally subscribe to modern parenting theories, or do you think there’s something in doing it old school?

Is My Parenting Outdated: Going Back To Basics

21 thoughts on “Is My Parenting Outdated: Going Back To Basics

  • October 4, 2017 at 9:05 am
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    I’m totally with you on this one. Good old basics and having high expectations (not too high obviously) of your kids are good ways to parent in my book or at least I hope so. Thank you for sharing with #StayClassymama

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    • October 4, 2017 at 12:55 pm
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      Yeah I agree. I feel like sometimes we sometimes unintentionally set our kids up to expect life to be handed on a plate, and while that’d be amazingly easy it just isn’t real life. Xx

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  • October 4, 2017 at 8:44 am
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    Oh that’s interesting about the tv. We use it for downtime and Jake gets annoyed at me if I want to watch something for me. If I had said that as a child I would have been so told off! But kids now don’t seem to bat an eyelid at being told off. Trouble is he knows the programmes are on all day long so he expects it. Simpler times made for easier parenting I think. No TV shows, no ipads, no temptations from adverts and basic toys. #ablogginggoodtime

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    • October 4, 2017 at 12:52 pm
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      Yeah I totally agree. We were just discussing the other day how absolutely ridiculous that a certain kids channel on Freeview is still showing cartoons at gone 11pm! It’s just not necessary! I think kids learn from being bored and using their imaginations to create their own entertainment. Xx

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  • October 3, 2017 at 11:45 am
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    You can’t go wrong with a bit of old school parenting. I think what’s important is to do it your way. 🙂 Thanks for linking up to #fortheloveofblog x

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    • October 3, 2017 at 5:23 pm
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      That’s very true, we all just have to do what works for us!xx

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    • October 1, 2017 at 10:35 pm
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      I agree with that to a certain extent… I think there’s a time and a place xx

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  • October 1, 2017 at 5:06 am
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    Absolutely LOVE this!

    I think my parenting tactics have evolved over time. But the foundation has always been pretty much the same. Like, say please and thank you, don’t act like a lunatic in the grocery store, make good grades, don’t be an ass….you know? The basics.

    Popping in from #StayClassyMama

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    • October 1, 2017 at 7:31 am
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      That’s exactly it! The extras change and morph with time, but the essentials should always be there…xx

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  • September 29, 2017 at 6:50 pm
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    I don’t have a strict parenting style, partially becauI was brought up pretty liberal and also because my 3 yo is nothing like a neurotypical child, so I have to follow him in a lot of cases. We have the telly on, but he’s not massively into it. We have other small rules though: eating dinner together by the table, tidy up time before dinner, etc. More like routine kind of things. #stayclassymama
    Eva Katona recently posted…Gilroy Gardens Review – More Than A ThemeparkMy Profile

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    • September 29, 2017 at 7:20 pm
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      I guess I would say a lot of our ‘rules’ are more routine based. Our days are pretty liberal in that I leave the kids to explore and play and do their own thing. It’s the old school (what I see as) fundamentals that are non-negotiable for me; basically manners, politeness, being helpful etc…xxx

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  • September 28, 2017 at 5:47 pm
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    I suppose I would be classed as old school too. But like you I am proud of my kids behaviour. Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉
    Imperfect Mum recently posted…#ablogginggoodtime #64My Profile

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  • September 27, 2017 at 9:44 pm
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    I think they key thing is to pay attention to your children and parent them in a way that suits them as well as you – like you say, you know what your kids are capable of and it’s so lovely that you’re in tune with them. I’m a bit half and half, I have my rules (must wear clothes outside the house, must brush teeth etc) but I give her free reign quite a bit. Not at the expense of others though, or good manners, or being kind. THanks for sharing 🙂 #BloggerClubUK

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    • September 28, 2017 at 6:19 am
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      I agree that freedom to express themselves and be who they are is very important!xx

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  • September 27, 2017 at 12:34 pm
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    I absolutely agree with this and must be an old school parent too. The TV in our house isn’t on in the day because I don’t really watch it, but my husband loves the background noise so when he’s in charge, he and my daughter sit and watch it together. I didn’t realise how old school I was until I ‘banned’ the ipad from breakfast time! Good to know we are all ‘old schoolies’ together x

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    • September 27, 2017 at 12:39 pm
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      God yes, screens at mealtimes are a big no no for me too!!xx

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  • September 26, 2017 at 5:15 pm
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    I think I’m pretty old school in my parenting too. I think lots of people think I’m too strict with screen time and food but it means my girls are learning imaginative play and have balanced diets so I think that’s more important.
    Mummy2twindividuals recently posted…Potty Training dilemmaMy Profile

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    • September 26, 2017 at 6:51 pm
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      I get that too; my mum especially thinks I’m a big old meanie! She seems to have forgotten what a hard arse she was in her day haha! I just want the kids to have those old school values that seem to be dwindling…xx

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  • September 22, 2017 at 12:43 pm
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    Love this and I’m with you all the way. I expect my two to tidy up their own mess and they are very good at it now. Little chores and suitable responsibility is good for them.

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    • September 22, 2017 at 6:57 pm
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      My mum would say “its character building”!!! 😂

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