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You’ll have to excuse me today. I’ve just finished watching all 4 episodes of Little Boy Blue (seriously, if you haven’t seen it, you HAVE to) and I’m a bit emotional!

As the final recorded episode finished, our Sky box automatically tuned into the last channel we were watching (Comedy Central, obvs) and the brilliantly funny Chris Ramsey was talking about life as a fairly new parent. He started talking about the whole world of pressure and responsibility on a new parent’s shoulders, and I sort of zoned out after he uttered these words.

“When you bring a life into this world… you have one job above everything else… Do not raise a dickhead”

I zoned out at this point because I genuinely started to consider just how well we are doing with this one.

I’d like to think that our parenting skills have helped to instil a number of un-dickhead qualities in Amelia so far, but I can equally say that she has the capacity for full dickhead mode whenever that switch flips.

Perfect Mum Tantrum

Manners

It felt like it took forever to crack the manners thing, and at points it just felt like we were repeating “please” and “what do you say?” over and over and over again, until one day something seemed to finally click and she just got it.

So yeah, her manners are great, and I regularly get compliments about Amelia’s ‘beautiful manners’ from staff at nursery, friends and family, and random people we happen to talk to. But then there are the times when it all goes a bit awry.

Seriously, my threenager has perfected sarcasm (I wonder where she gets that from……..), so when she forgets her manners and I look at her expectantly, there are genuinely times when I get a roll of the eyes and a totally dickhead-ish and insincere “puh-leeease”. Then there’s the times like yesterday when she actually yelled at me from the living room;

“Get me a snack!”

Yeah, beautiful manners.

One Job Don't Raise A Dickhead

Empathy

I’d like to think that I model empathy as much as I can around the kids, and I definitely try to make sure that I’m putting myself in their shoes sometimes.

For the most part, Amelia is fabulously empathetic. She shows true concern for the feelings of her friends, and once took me into a shop to buy a meal deal for a homeless man when I couldn’t tell her where he was going to have dinner (I didn’t want to lie and tell her ‘at home’ and she found that quite sad)

And yet, just a few days ago (she was being a bit of a dickhead) I explained that her actions had not been kind, and that actually her actions had made mummy feel a bit sad. She sort of looked around the room, and then responded “Ok. But I’m not doing that now. Can I have a cup of milk please?” Feeling at a bit of a loss, I asked her if she cared that mummy was sad, and she simply responded “No.”

Well that’s that then.

One Job Don't Raise A Dickhead
Faith restored: that time she ignored Will’s snatching and instead offered a piece of her chocolate brownie.

Pennies Make Pounds

So has my 3-year-old perfected the art of not being a dickhead, or has she actually perfected the art of saving? When I say saving, of course what I mean is saving up all of the shit for us at home!

I know that she is definitely capable of displaying excellent manners, and of caring for others. She happily tidies away toys at nursery, and treats things with respect. She asks nicely for things, and shares with others. Sometimes, she will even let me have a Malteser or two (parenting win of the day today).

So what the hell are all those other times about?! Are they just momentary relapses? Are they a test? Does she see me as more of a pushover than, say, the staff at nursery?

Honestly I don’t know, but I suppose all any of us can do is celebrate the wins, and tackle the rest one by one. There’ll be an end to this, right? Right??

x

 

 

Just in case you’ve lost your marbles and think I’m amazing (or if you just really like the word ‘dickhead’) you can nominate me here in the Family & Lifestyle category (you can ignore the rest of the form if you want to!) All you’ll need is the name of this blog (MummyMamaMum), the URL of this blog (http://mummymamamum.com/) and my Twitter handle (@AleenaBrown)

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You Have One Job: Don’t Raise A Dickhead
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57 thoughts on “You Have One Job: Don’t Raise A Dickhead

  • Pingback: Views, Reviews & How-Tos Linky 14 | Accidental Hipster Mum

    • May 30, 2017 at 9:44 pm
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      Unless you’re me, I’m perfect 100% of the time (see, I’m hilarious too!!) haha! Thank you, and I totally agree!xx

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    • May 28, 2017 at 9:07 pm
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      Ha!!! Fournado – yes!!! I was wondering today if it gets better at 4… clearly not!! 😂😂

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  • May 28, 2017 at 7:44 am
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    I think there’s a difference between annoying child and a dickhead. As long as values are kept you are gonna give them the best start and outlook 😉 #RVHT

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    • May 28, 2017 at 7:46 am
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      For sure. They’re not really dickheads, I know that 😉 even if some days it feels otherwise haha!!x

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    • May 28, 2017 at 7:43 am
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      Completely agree. And then I become the dickhead looking at them going “what the actual fuck, do we seriously have to learn this AGAIN?!?!” Hahaha!!x

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    • May 26, 2017 at 7:22 pm
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      Yup!! On hot days, on wet days, on nursery days, on days that end with ‘Y’ hahahahaha!!x

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  • May 26, 2017 at 3:27 pm
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    What a fantastic post. And yes, we have all at some point in time. looked at our littles behaviors and thought, Dickhead. It’s a truth we must all face. Getting it out in the open is cathartic, so thank you! #BlogCrush xoxo

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    • May 26, 2017 at 7:20 pm
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      It certainly is, and made me realise I have my own dickhead moments too!!x

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  • May 26, 2017 at 12:38 pm
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    Aha, yes in my head I am often screaming “why are you such a little dickhead” to one of my three, or maybe all three at the same time, and they don’t get any less dickhead-ish as they get older, I’m afraid. But they’re also amazing as we all know! #stayclassymama

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    • May 26, 2017 at 7:19 pm
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      Right. Here begins embrace big life with amazing dickheads then haha!x

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  • May 26, 2017 at 11:56 am
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    Brilliant post! Manners cost nohing is all i remember my nan saying to me and do you know what? Its all i keep saying to my son. I dont want to raise a dickhead! #BlogCrush

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    • May 26, 2017 at 7:18 pm
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      Ahaha I say that al the time too!!x

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    • May 26, 2017 at 10:33 am
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      Oh so no chance of it ending then haha!!!x

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  • May 25, 2017 at 9:34 pm
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    Most days I deserve the title Queen of The Little Asshats.

    I try, mostly fail and try again when it comes to raising these little gems.
    #ablogginggoodtime

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    • May 25, 2017 at 10:13 pm
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      Ahaha that has me in stitches!!!!xx

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  • May 25, 2017 at 8:57 pm
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    My kids can be real dickheads too and usually at the wrong moment – like in front of my new box but then they do something that makes me so proud. I guess we all make mistakes and it seems to me that you are doing a great job. Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉
    Imperfect Mum recently posted…#a blogging good time #50My Profile

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    • May 25, 2017 at 8:58 pm
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      Aw thank you. I think most of us are, despite the dickhead moments (from the kids and the grown ups!!)x

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  • May 25, 2017 at 8:55 pm
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    Oh these little ones! I think they’re all a balance, mind you, I think that we can all have our own dickhead moments when we have a strop, as long as the good outweighs the bad I think we’re doing ok! Thanks for linking up with the #bigpinklink this week.

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    • May 25, 2017 at 8:57 pm
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      Haha, I’m certainly guilty of a few dickhead moments myself!! x

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  • May 25, 2017 at 6:24 pm
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    Love this post! It sounds like you are doing a fantastic job. And don’t worry, all 3 year olds are dickheads sometimes. But if she has good manners most of the time or shows empathy EVER, chances are she’ll grow up to be delightful. #dreamteam

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    • May 25, 2017 at 6:25 pm
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      Haha here’s hoping!!! 🤞🏻 xx

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  • May 24, 2017 at 8:52 pm
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    Haha I loved this a great read. Based on my day today I hope there is an end to this!!! #fortheloveofblog

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    • May 24, 2017 at 9:07 pm
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      I’m told there is……. maybe one day!! Haha xx

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  • May 23, 2017 at 11:51 am
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    Both mine can be complete dickheads but also pretty amazing and I’d like to think I am doing an alright job! Thanks Thanks for linking to #marvmondays and making me giggle!!
    Fran Back With A Bump recently posted…I’m Not ScaredMy Profile

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    • May 23, 2017 at 12:16 pm
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      I think all kids have their moments, don’t they?!xx

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  • May 23, 2017 at 9:45 am
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    haha … my 3(nearly 4) year old has perfected the art of rolling her eyes and sighing in complete exasperation at me. I pray (for her sake) that she doesn’t do it to other people outside our home. Great post. I love the title!
    #marvmondays

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    • May 23, 2017 at 12:16 pm
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      Haha can you imagine?! I’ve often said if an adult behaved/spoke to me the way Amelia does sometimes I don’t think I’d text very *ahem* favourably!! Xx

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  • May 22, 2017 at 9:17 pm
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    All of our kids will be fine. As my mum says they are just learning about boundaries and frustration and anger and all of these new and exciting emotions.

    Unfortunately, I feel like I am learning about all of these new and exciting emotions at the same time. I am not sure how much I am enjoying it.

    Pen x #marvmondays
    Pen recently posted…Is there a hierarchy of single mothers?My Profile

    Reply
    • May 22, 2017 at 9:20 pm
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      Oh wow, yes! I too feel like I’m having to learn/relearn all of the emotion management techniques that I want my children to learn. Just another big way that parenting is a massive learning curve, eh?!xx

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  • May 22, 2017 at 6:33 pm
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    haha I love this! I pray my girls turn out ok everyday lol! #bigpinklink

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    • May 22, 2017 at 7:54 pm
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      You and me both haha!!xx

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    • May 22, 2017 at 7:55 pm
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      Ha! Yes, maybe we should be applauding them for their sheer genius haha!x

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    • May 22, 2017 at 7:51 pm
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      That’s very true!! x

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    • May 22, 2017 at 12:47 pm
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      YES to that!! Not being a dickhead oneself is equally is vital haha!! (Although I’m sure I have my moments!!) xx

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  • May 22, 2017 at 9:50 am
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    Ha ha this is awesome I love this title – yes I just hope that I am not raising dickheads too lol 🙂 My mum always told me if I can instill good values in my children then they may occassionally go ‘Off piste’ but they will find their way back because of the strong foundations laid down in their early years. Sounds like you are going really well in laying down yours xx Nicky #bigpinklink
    mums’ army recently posted…Running in my fortiesMy Profile

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    • May 22, 2017 at 12:46 pm
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      Aw thank you! I couldn’t agree more, those foundations are so important. Your mum sounds like a very wise lady!x

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  • May 22, 2017 at 9:30 am
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    I used to work with a number of young people with behavioural problems and empathy was the way to reach them. She has empathy, so you’re okay. Some of the young people had lost empathy and that was hard work. This post did make me laugh. #MarvMondays
    Mama Grace recently posted…My First Party BagMy Profile

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    • May 22, 2017 at 12:46 pm
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      I totally agree with you there. Empathy is such an important emotion, and feeds into almost everything. I think it’s so important to show our children empathy so that they can learn from us. Definitely one to think more about, I think!xx

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  • May 22, 2017 at 8:40 am
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    Great post! Your doing an amazing job <3 #bigpinklink xxx

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    • May 22, 2017 at 12:44 pm
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      Aww thank you xx

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  • May 22, 2017 at 8:26 am
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    Oh I totally get this! My son is an absolute delight, with impeccable manners. Apart from when it all slips and he’s a complete nightmare – a rude, selfish, aggressive dictator! Like you’ve found, he saves all those moments for when he’s with me, so I feel lovely and special. Nursery think he’s just an angel! #bigpinklink

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    • May 22, 2017 at 12:43 pm
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      Ahaha so glad I’m not alone on this! That sounds JUST like mine!!xx

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  • May 22, 2017 at 8:24 am
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    Great post, sounds like you’re doing a fab job! And my friend and I have been using the #babydickheadness hashtag in our texts to each other about our two fairly regularly lol…. #BigPinkLink
    @MumMalarkey recently posted…My birth story (sorry Linda)My Profile

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    • May 22, 2017 at 12:43 pm
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      Hahaha I love that!!xx

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    • May 21, 2017 at 8:58 pm
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      Never a truer word..! They are pretty perfect, including when they’re perfecting the art of being dickheads haha!! x

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  • May 21, 2017 at 6:41 pm
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    I like to think we aren’t raising dick-heads, yes that it is one of my favourite words, but my terrible twos toddler definitely has her moments. What am I saying? They both do!! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza, I love your stuff!! xx
    The Tale of Mummyhood recently posted…#Blogstravaganza #20My Profile

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    • May 21, 2017 at 6:59 pm
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      Hahaha, even the baby of the family has his moments hahaha! Aww thanks hun, that means a lot! Sometimes I do wonder if it’s just me enjoying writing it all haha!!xx

      Reply

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