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The more I talk to other mums, the more I feel weird for having felt (or not felt, as it were) this way. But the truth is, I had no problem leaving either of my babies for the first time. In fact, Amelia was a few days old when she first left the house without me (to the park with my mum) and a couple of weeks old when my mum first took her overnight.

Wills’ was stuck with me a little longer (sorry son) but only because the opportunity did not present itself, and let’s face it – babysitters are much less forthcoming when there’s two of the pains-in-the-arse to contend with! Even so, I popped out for coffee and a bit of shopping with my mum when Wills was a couple of days old, and was happy to leave him with his Dad anytime I needed to.

leaving William

I Couldn’t Wait

It kind of hit me a couple of weeks ago, though, as I left Wills for his first settle in session at nursery in preparation for me going back to work at the end of March. One of the staff who also happens to be a very close and old friend of mine said to me as I was leaving (I might have done a little skip);

“He’ll be fine mate”

I nodded, and said “Yeah, I’m sure he will” and pulled a little ‘not-so-sure’ face at her.

-BUT-

I was faking it. I was definitely sure he’d be fine. Knowing that her kind and thoughtful comment actually meant “you’ll be fine, mate” I also knew that I would, indeed, be fine. I’d be more than fine, in fact. I couldn’t wait to get out of there! I practically danced to the local coffee shop.

I’m Fine – Is That Strange?

Not only did I skip out of nursery without a second glance at the son I had left behind, I didn’t even waste much of my precious hour alone wondering how he was getting on. In fact, it wasn’t until the walk back to nursery that I allowed my mind to wander there.

And I was fine long before this, too. I was fine the first time I left Wills to go for that coffee, a bit distracted maybe, but not anxious or feeling any kind of pressure to get back quickly. I was even fine the first time I left Amelia. In fact, I slept like a baby most of the time she was gone, and when I woke I enjoyed a coffee and 20 minutes of alone time before she came home. Bliss.

leaving Amelia

Am I a Fraud?

I don’t really understand why, but there’s a part of me that kind of feels like I’m not really a proper Mum unless I’m constantly worrying about my kids. Why don’t I feel that angst nagging away at me when I leave them? Am I somehow less of a Mum because an hour alone doesn’t leave me in a cold, panicked sweat?

The more I think about it, the more I realise that leaving them really is ok, and feeling ok about is ok too. Whether leaving the kids is out of necessity, or just because I need a (well-deserved) break, it’s totally acceptable to not find the process painful. That being said, not being ready to take the leap is just as ok. Whatever works for each of us, right?!

x

 

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I Had No Problem Leaving My Baby
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24 thoughts on “I Had No Problem Leaving My Baby

    • May 1, 2017 at 1:51 pm
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      I kind of see it like ripping the plaster off… its hard the first couple of times but you get used to it if you power through. You deserve you time Hun! Having said that, I still think I’m abnormal that I don’t have any problem leaving the kids!xxx

      Reply
  • May 1, 2017 at 8:24 am
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    I think that Mom guilt can plague us with this one but I was too absolutely fine when it came to going out of an evening for the first time! It was a date night for me and my man… yes I did check my phone a lot to double check things were ok but the little dude was a perfect sleeper so I knew he’d be fine… its necessary for our sanity to still retain a sense of self and ‘adult time’ after we have children! #abloggingoodtime

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    • May 1, 2017 at 9:59 am
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      Glad to know it’s not just me!!!xx

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  • April 28, 2017 at 6:25 am
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    Not weird, we are all different and worry about different things. If you know your kids are in good hands then why worry?! Sounds like you have a healthy attitude to me. Mums need time to themselves. Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉
    Imperfect Mum recently posted…April RoundupMy Profile

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  • April 12, 2017 at 6:53 am
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    Yep seems as though we are not so weird as we thought. There are lots of is out there who were fine. Which is good to know! I actually thought there might be something wrong with me haha

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    • April 12, 2017 at 7:21 am
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      Me too!!!!! I genuinely worried that I shouldn’t be feeling like that!x

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  • April 11, 2017 at 10:51 pm
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    I rarely feel guilty for leaving my kids. Sure I miss them, but I also miss my sanity! #StayClassyMama

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    • April 12, 2017 at 7:20 am
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      Hahaha, your sanity! Love it!x

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  • April 11, 2017 at 5:15 pm
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    I felt exactly the same way! Haha I was totally fine, and in fact, I wanted to have a little break away from the alien blob thing (omg I sound terrible haha!) which I loved dearly. In the newborn stage they are completely attached to you from morning until night, and then through the night as well, it’s completely normal to want to have a break. Actually it slightly confuses me when moms are the other way? Lol thanks for sharing with #StayClassyMama!
    The Mum Project recently posted…What the F*** Is a Link Party (other names: linky, link-up)?My Profile

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    • April 12, 2017 at 7:18 am
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      Haha, I know right?! You don’t sound awful at all! Working in a nursery, I see all kinds of angles; mums who desperately want to stay at drop off time, and those of us skipping out the door!! Haha!!x

      Reply
  • April 8, 2017 at 1:54 pm
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    Since January, I have been working out of the home for 6 hours each Monday. I work very early and Peachy likes to sleep in. When I get home she’s just sitting down to breakfast with her daddy. That’s the only time we are apart. In the 16 months of Peachy’s life I only left her with her grandparents once and it was only because I had no other choice. I hated it and have no intention of doing it again. Peachy was fine, as I figured she would be, but the fact is, I missed her terribly. I like being with her. You may think it’s weird that you don’t have a problem leaving your baby but I think it’s weird that I never feel the need to have “a break” from mine. I am painfully aware of how quickly time passes and that soon Peachy will want her freedom and I’ll be left behind. I want to savour every moment of her for as long as she will let me. #BloggerClubUK

    Reply
    • April 8, 2017 at 6:38 pm
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      I don’t think you’re weird at all!! In fact, part of me wishes that I was like that too. I think it’s great that your job works so well around your family, and that your little one gets to enjoy all of that time with you! I’m sure she benefits hugely from it xxx

      Reply
  • April 8, 2017 at 9:00 am
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    I was worried with my first but I was skipping out of there by my third 🙂 I think its fantastic that you had that confidence in his care givers and knew that it was not only okay but necessary to give yourself the time you needed to.
    Sometimes I wonder if Mama Guilt is half the anxiety- Mums thinks they should feel anxious or sad and they work themselves up more than necessary 🙂
    Michelle recently posted…Time to Play #2My Profile

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    • April 8, 2017 at 9:09 am
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      That’s a really valid point – I think we read/hear/are told so many things days, and we are especially aware of Mum guilt and the (outdated) views of some. How many times have you bumped into someone or gone somewhere and people look at you like you’ve lost a limb “oh, where are the kids??”

      “Obviously, I left them on the train because I just fancied a break.”

      I agree that sometimes we feel as though we should feel a certain way, and then feel bad when we don’t! Xx

      Reply
  • April 7, 2017 at 9:42 pm
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    I think the way you feel is great. You are obviously very confident and comfortable in yourself, and this is going to reflect so well on your kids growing up. I was a ball of nerves the first few times I left my daughter. But only for the first half an hour or so. As soon as I remembered how much I liked my free life, I forgot all about her and enjoyed it while it lasted. #stayclassymama
    Nursery Whines recently posted…The Mother I Hoped I’d BeMy Profile

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    • April 8, 2017 at 8:54 am
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      I like that – I’m not cold and selfish, I’m confident and my kids will be too! Brilliant! Thanks so much for your lovely comment xx

      Reply
  • April 6, 2017 at 6:24 pm
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    You’re probably better as a mom because you are ok with it and vice versa. But this comes from a mom who pretty much never gets away but would like to. Lol

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    • April 6, 2017 at 7:23 pm
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      Better/colder same thing?!?? Haha!!xx

      Reply
  • April 6, 2017 at 1:23 pm
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    I certainly don’t think you are a fraud. it did take me a while to get used to leaving my son at nursery but within a few weeks I was relishing going to work for some adult time! And I didn’t feel one bit guilty wither about it. #BloggerClubUK

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    • April 6, 2017 at 1:34 pm
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      Honestly you should have seen the way I bounced out of that place the first day!! However, I am very very lucky that I am able to have a sneaky peek through the window/door of his room at nursery whenever the fancy takes me! Xx

      Reply
  • April 5, 2017 at 12:30 pm
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    You are not a fraud I just reckon you save your worries for other things. I left L for for the first time within the first few days. In fact several times. I was stuck in hospital for 7 days and needed to get outside to breath but couldn’t take him with me. He was over a year old for his first overnight with grandparents and I was a mess. I don’t worry about food, or how fast/slow he’s developing, or illnesses and other things one tiny little bit though. #bloggerclubuk

    Reply
    • April 5, 2017 at 12:46 pm
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      That’s true, I suppose we all have different things that we worry about don’t we?!x

      Reply

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