Recently I’ve developed a bit of an alter-ego; totally in my head of course! The Mum in my head (let’s go nuts and call her Aleena A, I’ll be Aleena B) starts every morning at 5:45. She gets up, has coffee and puts her porridge on the hob to cook on a low heat while she skilfully uses this time to wash, cleanse, moisturise, tone, apply make-up and do her hair.
Aleena A eats her breakfast while sipping a cup of coffee and checking on her blog. Just as she finishes the last spoonful of porridge, Amelia tiptoes into the room and she hears Wills begin to stir.
Then it’s breakfast, get the kids dressed, leave for the train station to get Amelia to nursery, back home to do some chores and get some work done.
Aleena B (that’s me!) will set an alarm for 5:45, snooze it a few times and eventually crawl out of bed at 6:30 when I hear Wills waking up, thinking
“ShitShitShit! We’re never gonna be ready on time!”
I change Wills’ nappy and take him to the kitchen for breakfast, also putting my own porridge on the hob to cook on a low heat. Mr C takes over feeding the baby, and I run to the bathroom to have a half-hearted wash (vaguely brush teeth, remove yesterday’s make up) and apply a fresh coat of make up, but get distracted half way through thinking
“ShitShitShit! The porridge!”
Amelia refuses to wake, offering only a series of grunts and a kick to the face. This usually results in her being fireman lifted to the bathroom, brushing her teeth in between screams, getting her dressed while she cries that she wants to wear her pj’s all day (me too, kid) and then a breakfast which I’m sure she never enjoys seeing as I’m usually heard every 30 seconds or so;
“Amelia eat! I’m leaving in 2 minutes!”
“We’re gonna miss our train, pick your spoon up!”
“Amelia, I’ll throw it in the bin! Eat!”
“Right, that’s it, I’m leaving”
“You’ve got 3 minutes before I leave!”
“30 seconds Amelia, quick. Finish and get your coat on”
By the time I’m on the way back from nursery I’m bloody starving (I only had half a bowl of porridge because the other half was burnt to the bottom of the pan, remember?!) so I get home and eat the lunch meant for today. At 9:30am.
Lovely Mum & Baby Activities
Aleena A has a morning snack before taking Wills to mother and baby rhyme time at the local library. She gets home in time for lunch and a nap, and while Wills sleeps she eats her lunch, gets some blog work done, prepares dinner for the day, does the housework, and drinks a cup of coffee. When Wills wakes, she plays lots of fun developmental games with him before dinner at 4 followed by a bath, a bottle of milk, and bed at 6. Amelia and Mr C arrive home at 6:15, dinner is on the table, and the family chat about their day before Amelia goes to bed at 7:30.
The real me barely leaves the house all day. The first hour back at home is usually spent laying on the kids’ bedroom floor while Wills plays around me and I check Facebook/Instagram/Twitter/get stuck on a Youtube loop. Then I remember that there is actually shit to do; 4 loads of washing to do, the dry washing that’s been on the airer for 4 days to put away. There’s a sink full of breakfast washing up to do, followed by sweeping/mopping/hoovering AGAIN. Then there’s that pile of clothes on my bedroom floor that Mr C hates, I should probably put it all away. Wills needs lunch, a bottle and a nap.
I do the washing up, wipe the sides down, vaguely sweep the kitchen and ignore the rest of the house. I check out the pile of clothes on the bedroom floor and decide the best solution is to just put it all in the (still overflowing) wash bin. I fill the washing machine and look at the airer. No time for that. I’ll do it when Wills naps.
Wills has lunch and a bottle and I put him in his cot where, instead of sleeping he holds onto the sides and spends 40 minutes jumping up and down before eventually falling asleep standing up. I eat my lunch, make a cup of coffee (which I only drink half of) and vow to use nap time to get dinner prepared and the airer emptied. I just about manage dinner before Wills wakes up, and I look at the airer.
“Fuck it, it can wait until tomorrow”
I spend the rest of the afternoon
blogging trying to blog while Wills wrecks the bedroom and plays with his new favourite toy, the DVD player. It’s loads of fun pulling it off the shelf every time Mum puts it back.
I spend a lot of my time wondering why I can’t be like my alter-ego, Aleena A. The will and the want is there, and sometimes she makes minor guest appearances in our day, but they never last for very long. *sigh*
p.s. it’s just occurred to me as I finished writing this that this is only going to get worse when I go back to work at the end of the month! eek!