Back To Work: Full of Fear of Failing

I’ve been getting prepared for going back to work for some time now. From meal planning to talking through with Mr C how our routine will need to adapt once I’m back. We’ve covered all bases; how we will all get to the right places at the right times, when we will do household chores like grocery shopping, family times carved out, time scheduled for batch cooking for the week ahead, and everything in between.

Planning At Its Finest!

It’s safe to say we’ve talked about, and mentally  worked out, pretty much every last detail. And yet still, as D-day draws ever nearer (t-minus 4 days, people!) I am feeling more and more nervous. Scared even. All of a sudden the reality of what it is going to mean to be a mum of two while holding down a paid job is dawning on me, and I don’t think I’m prepared for it!

Gimme That Hour!

Now don’t get me wrong, there are a few things I am really looking forward to; lunch breaks for a start! An hour for lunch? Uninterrupted peace, and an entire hour devoted purely to me filing my face with food, not having to speak to a single person if I don’t want to? Err, yes please! Then there’s the prospect of dropping the kids off and having time to grab a hot cup of coffee before the working day starts. A cup of coffee that I don’t spill half of because I’m holding it along with a toddlers hand and trying to push a pram.

Mums enjoying coffee

But for every positive there’s something I’m not quite as jubilant about. How am I going to keep up with the washing, making sure that 4 of us have clean clothes to wear plus a bag of spares each for the kids for nursery? I mean, I’m barely keeping on top of it now! When am I going to get all the cooking done? What about all of the other housework? Will I forget to take the library books back? Will we even get time to go to the library anymore? How am I going to get both the kids up, washed, dressed and to the train station in time? When will I have time to make my lunch for work? And what about the blog? Am I going to fall behind, miss linkys, let anyone down? Aaargh!!

How Long Will It Last?

For pretty much all of the things I am currently having a meltdown about there is already a plan in place. But I’m starting to worry that maybe we (I) have over-planned a little (is that even a thing?!) We’ve planned that we will do the food shopping on Saturday mornings, and I will batch cook on a Saturday afternoon for the week ahead, and that Sunday’s will be family time. Is that really it from now on, though? An entire weekend day devoted to preparing for the week ahead?! Are we setting ourselves up to fail by filling a whole day like this?

Sod the washing

Also, despite having discussed that we will simply just tag team the washing machine/clothes airer a couple of evenings a week, I suddenly feel like I need to go and buy the kids a bunch of new clothes, just so that we have enough for spares. The rational part of me (however small that may be) knows, in fact, that it doesn’t matter how many clothes we all own, they will still inevitably all end up in the washing basket at the same time! Maybe I should just use this as an excuse for a shopping spree anyway *wink wink*.

As for the rest of it, it will come. Or it won’t, and maybe we will just have to relax our expectations a little (I’m thinking about you, housework) and that’s ok too.

Aaaaaaaaaaand……Breathe!

As for the blog… well this is the one thing that I feel almost certain about. I know that no matter what, this is always going to be my place of solace. The blog will be where I go to relax and wind down at the end of the day, and where I vent the inevitable trials, tribulations, stresses, and #wins of mum life (and probably working life too!) Although I know that missing a linky here and there isn’t going to be the end of the world, or held against me, I doubt very much that I will miss many because I enjoy them!

Ok… I needed to get that off my chest. The heart palpitations have subsided now, I think I’m going to be ok. Head back in a couple of weeks to see how we are getting on (and whether I’ve bothered with any housework!) Wish me luck!

x

32 Replies to “Back To Work: Full of Fear of Failing”

  1. I was reading your post thinking this will be me in just a couple of months time. Its such a scary thought! But it sounds like you’ve done everything you can to prepare for it. I hope your first day back went well. Its such a juggling act in the beginning, and then eventually you find a rhythm and everything just works doesnt it 🙂 I cant wait to hear how you got on, great post, thanks for sharing it on #MarvMondays. Emily
    My Petit Canard recently posted…Maman Gateau Club Box Giveaway!My Profile

    1. Haha, well I thought I had but we ended up with Nandos take away for dinner on day 2! I did a months worth of meal planning and then forgot to buy the main ingredients for Tuesday’s dinner! But other than that, it’s actually going pretty well. I’m sure you’ll be just fin when you go back too! Thanks for hosting!! xx

  2. You have made yourself as practically ready for it as you can, it sounds amazing, I hope you have kept a little time for the emotional side, be kind to yourself and don’t put on to much pressure. I did no planning, kind of went back and fell into a routine. I think plans are good in regards to bath cooking, but buy a couple of ready means stick them in the fridge for just in case. If the plans fall apart a bit don’t panic, school nursery runs and balancing house work kids is a struggle but as you say that time at work just me, to have tea, to be not just mum is really positive. Good luck lovely. Thank you for linking to #stayclassymama xx

    1. I totally agree, and that’s the main reason that we have made a pact that we will always keep Sundays free and just see where the wind takes us! I’ll deffo be investing in some ready meals too!! Thanks son much xx

  3. Finding the balance, time and confidence to know that you are doing a great job even when it doesnt feel like it is a real struggle. I stay home now 24 – 7 and I STILL can not quite achieve any of those! How the hell did I work full time???

    #marvmondaysk

  4. Good luck!! I’m feeling very similar to you too T minus 7 days…😢Getting everything done, functioning at work, leaving baby… so much to think about. I hope everything goes well for you #BloggerClubUK

  5. You can do this! I firmly believe us Mama’s just make things happen – you’ll make it work and you’ll find the time for the things you love…like #coolmumclub 😉 But we’ll never hold it against you if you are cream crackered! You should never feel like you’re letting anyone down by not joining in a linky – let go of any sense of linky guilt and remember it’s all just a bit of fun 😉

    Thanks so much for linking to #coolmumclub
    MMT recently posted…#coolmumclub Linky week 61My Profile

    1. Haha linky guilt (what’s better is that autocorrect keeps changing that to kinky guilt!!!!) just another one to add to the list of guilts haha!! I’m definitely letting go, and you’re right, we somehow do just make things happens don’t we?!xx

  6. Aww good luck on heading bavk to work. I went back in September and it’s all very weird! It takes. A few weeks to get into the swing of it but before you know it, it has become the new normal! Looking forward to hearing how it all goes. enjoy your last few days of maternity leave x #ablogginggoodtime

  7. Oh this really resonated with me. After being a SAHM, I recently applied for a job, and all of these thoughts have been whooshing around my head too. It’s such a big change. I didn’t get the job so I’m off the hook (for now) but I can totally imagine how you’re feeling. I hope that it all goes really smoothly for you. It sounds like you’ve got it covered, and I’m sure you’ll all fall into a routine that works for you soon. Good luck! #coolmumclub
    Lucy At Home recently posted…66 Things To Do Before You’re SixMy Profile

    1. Thank you, I’m sure we will too! And good luck with the job search (if you’re still applying). When/if the time comes for you I’m sure you’ll nail it! Xx

  8. There are indeed many aspects of going back to work that feel like a bit of a break lol. I LOVE my lunch hour! With the food prep thing, I try and make 2 meals a week that we can all have, that I can get an additional 3/4 portions for her out of. After a couple of weeks you have a good selection of toddler portions ready to reheat, and can concentrate on your own a bit later once they’re in bed! #coolmumclub

    1. Me too, I always try to save adult and toddler portions from meals that I cook. We’re very lucky in the respect that the kids nursery provides breakfast, cooked lunch & dessert and cooked dinner and dessert so on work days I don’t actually have to worry about the kids at all! I’m sure it won’t be Hal as stressful as I’m predicting! X

  9. A really interesting post for me as we have been trying to decide when the past time for me to go back to work will be. Mia starts school in Sept so it seems natural that I will go back then however I’m really worried about how we will manage as a family; how I will get the cooking done, the cleaning done and the clothes washed in time?! Its really scary but I know we will manage and I need to stop working myself up about it. After nearly 4 years at home, working full time again is a scary prospect!

    #BloggerClubUK

    1. It is a really scary prospect isn’t it? Especially when you’re not going out to work and some days already feel like there aren’t enough hours!! But I have come to the conclusion that we will find a way, and it might take a while but we will work out what we can and can’t do, and what we need to loosen up on etc… “where there’s a will…” and all that! Xx

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